If You’re a Type A Bride, Read This Before freaking out about another Planning Another Detail

When I got engaged, I thought it was completely reasonable (and possible) to check the weather forecast for a date that was almost a year away. I found myself trying to control every detail because it felt impossible to redo. I would only get one shot to plan a wedding. There would be no do-overs! (At least, that was and still is the plan!) As a result, every decision felt heavier than it actually was. Making a mistake or regretting a decision after the wedding was my biggest fear.

But weddings don't work like that. There isn't just one perfect venue, photographer, cake, etc. There are dozens of excellent choices, but anxiety has a funny way of convincing us that there's only one right answer—and if we don't find it, we'll ruin the biggest day of our lives.

"Are you sure?", three words that can derail any type A bride. But suddenly your brain is back at square one. Maybe they noticed something you didn't. Maybe you've missed a better option. Maybe you've made a mistake. And just like that, you're researching table linens again at 11:47 p.m. when you were supposed to be watching Netflix.

The wedding industry doesn't exactly help, either. Everywhere you look, someone is telling you what guests will supposedly remember forever: the chairs, the late-night snacks, the DJ package, the custom welcome bags… It's amazing how many businesses have figured out that fear sells better than reassurance. Somewhere along the way, wedding planning stopped being about creating a meaningful day and started feeling like avoiding a list of potential disasters. No wonder Type A brides are exhausted.

But here's what I learned after planning my own wedding: Guests are surprisingly bad at noticing the things we obsess over. No one came up to me afterward and said, "You know, I really wish the cocktail hour had one more appetizer." No one discussed the font on the menus. No one complimented the seating chart strategy. What they talked about was how happy they felt, how much fun they had, and how nice it was to be surrounded by people who loved us.(Here's how to create it BTW)

These days, whenever I catch myself spiraling over a decision, whether it's wedding-related or not, I ask myself one question: "Am I solving a real problem, or am I trying to eliminate uncertainty?"

Sometimes there is a real problem that needs solving, but more often than not, I'm just uncomfortable not knowing how everything will turn out. Planning a wedding asks you to sit with uncertainty more than almost anything else. (i.e. Will everyone RSVP? Will it rain? Will people enjoy themselves?) The truth is, you won't know until the day arrives.

No spreadsheet or premium package can guarantee perfection. Trust me. I tried.

Maybe being a Type A bride isn't about learning to care less. Maybe it's about learning the difference between the things that deserve your energy and the things that are simply asking for it. Your wedding doesn't need to be perfect. It needs a bride who's actually there to enjoy it